From Freehold to Flagstaff: Teamwork Makes the Dreamwork

23 Softballs

Yesterday was the first day 100%, or as close to 100% as possible, so I seriously contemplated staying in bed and skipping my doctor’s appointment. If I didn’t have to get this insurance crap figured out I totally would’ve. I was up around 6:30 and I was afraid to look outside after this snowy ass weekend. The coast was clear, so was the parking lot at the doctor’s office which was a big shocker considering how zoo-like it was the past two times I went there. Knowing my luck I figured the place was closed for President’s Day and they forgot to inform me once again. I saw a dude checking in so I parked my car…the only car in the lot…just seemed weird. Walked to the check-in and this dirty hippy lady jumped out of her chair to reserve her spot in line. I checked in, got my insurance squared away, heard all about the receptionist’s sinus surgery, and made my way to the waiting room. As soon as I sat down I was called in. I was seen and dismissed almost as fast. Yay! I could get a quick nap before PT!

According to our syllabus we were supposed to run for 25 minutes outside. I was dreading doing such a thing as I can’t remember the last time I ran that long all at once and I just got over being sick so I didn’t want to risk it. The campus was a winter wonder land so we were spared trudging around in the snow. We got our butt kicks inside instead. We got another day of AMRAPs (as many rounds as possible in case you forgot) in. One round included 15 step-ups (for each leg) onto a bench that was about mid thigh high on me, 15 sit-ups, 15 push-ups where you keep your core tight but lower your body onto the ground pick your hands up off of the ground then launch yourself up so hard that your hands come off the ground, then do lunges across the tennis court and back, and finally you jog a lap around the two tennis courts. We kept our 25 minute time frame, so we had to see how many rounds we could do in 25 minutes. I think I did 5. At one point, Mike critiqued my form on 1 of the exercises and said doing this exercise will help with the bench press when I lose weight. I’d been putting off telling him even though I know he thinks I’ve been dogging it with this bronchitis crap, but I finally told him that I dropped 23 pounds since January 2^nd. He was shocked, clapped, and had a look on his face like I was a project of his that succeeded or something; I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I dropped almost 18lbs on my own before we even started with the PT portion of the program. “You lost 23 softballs off of your body.” His reaction gave me a second wind and it helped refocus me during the exercise. When I was gassed and dragging ass, Arkansas ran by me and said something along the lines of “do it for Indy”, and that gave me a 3^rd wind.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this kid’s ego before but Mike certainly put it out there for all the class to see during a mini lecture. We were circled up and he announced that he wanted to go against the syllabus again and skip doing arms so that we could focus on more PEB suitable exercises which meant working on the bench press. Most of us bench just about every day so the decision was met with some grumbles. He asked the class why they wanted to do arms and I think someone said something about looking good. Mike responded with something along the lines of 6-pack abs make you look better than big arms and he boasted that he had 5% body fat as he rubbed his stomach. Travis & I looked across the group at each other with “I’m so tired of hearing this crap” looks on our faces so Travis stepped up to the plate first. “Your head is like this big right now.” Mike laughed it off and said no probably bigger. I chimed in immediately with “We got a Situation here.” He laughed with the rest of the class and fired back with “Okay Snooki”. “C’mon at least give me JWoww.” Ahhhhh Jersey Shore references. We practiced stretching for our sit & reach then had like 10 minutes to lift and we were out the door. Several of my classmates have come up to me since then saying that we should totally start calling him The Situation…hahahahahaha.

We Got a Situation

Class was alright. We got some of our test grades back. I got a 98 on our crazy essay test I told ya’ll about awhile back and I got a 96 on our firearms test. Woo Hoo! We have an all day scenario based outing on Thursday so we were given an introduction to that and every class this week will be dedicated to preparing us for it. We’re going to be arresting, interviewing, and interrogating suspects, victims, & witnesses, writing a report on one of the scenarios, and then having our cases go to mock trial in an actual court where we’ll be ripped apart my defense attorneys. JOY! This is actually one of my fears of becoming a law enforcement officer, this court room stuff. It’s only a learning experience so it won’t be that bad.

I was pretty pumped up after doing these AMRAPs and I was acting as if I took my annoying pills today (as Maureen would say). I was in such a good mood and apparently when that happens I get very loud. It was a different story heading to class, as Nick & I caught every red light along the way. I belted out a very loud “What the F_ _ K!?!?!” and I’m pretty sure that scared the tar out of Nick. When we were home after class he told me he can never tell if I’m seriously mad or just joking around. I was extremely pissed when we caught that particular light but I laughed about it after the light turned green; mostly because of Nick’s reaction to it. I told him I hardly ever get mad and if I do I get over it right away. I had chicken fingers & a baked potato…both were delicious. I tidied up my room while he ran out to the store. He came back with Arkansas & ice cream. I didn’t want to be accused of being antisocial so I kicked it with them for a bit. Then I decided to annoy them for awhile.

In class, Arkansas’ computer crashed while we were practicing a report and she let out a concerned “Oh No!” and the whole class looked up at her. After I saw she was okay I did my best Bruce Tobi (Family Guy) impression from the back of the room….”Ooohhh Noooo”. Some of the class started echoing it and we were all laughing. I made sure she didn’t forget it by repeating it 20410 times when she was over. I kept up with my annoying ways by making up my patented songs about anything and everything I saw and then headed into my room for some more Heavy Rain. When I started up with the game Nick summoned me to his room and I could hear uproarious laughter. I came into the room and Arkansas was at the computer and Nick was dying laughing on his bed. I looked at the screen and she was looking through the pictures I gave to Nick, this particular one was a chalkboard message I posted a long time ago. My favorite prank on Nick so far. “Eye am sofa king we Todd did.” Read it out loud. Well here’s what happened.

Back to Heavy Rain I beat it! That game is pretty bad ass but I wouldn’t let any young children play it. It plays out like a psychological mind bender movie, and since it’s on PS3 it actually looks like a movie, but it’s pretty intense. You have to make one of the main characters cut off their finger and at one point you control the beginning of a sex scene...and yes there is naughty nudity.

Playing video games was a good relaxer for my brain but before I went to sleep I got back to business. I applied to three more jobs and I decided I’m heading to class early to ask our director why she thought that I’ve only heard back from one ever since I got out here and there were parks I applied to before that one that did get back to me. I don't know if the whole "no news is good news" applies here, I just want to hear something. Some of the students are getting notices back that they are ineligible or "not referred" while 2 others had phone interviews this week. What gives?

Thank goodness we’re off in the morning.

Goodnight.

Good News Tuesday

I created this holiday while I was working at Holmdel Park. I used to look at my Facebook “News Feed” or text messages and include any good news I read in my own status, I just never had any good news of my own to report…that was until I received the phone call that a spot opened in this park ranger course and they wanted me to fill it. It’s been awhile since I honored Good News Tuesday, but having the morning off every Tuesday is very good news. Today started off with some bad…errrr…creepy news.

I wanted to wake up around 9am and get a good workout in at the Plex before class today. Sleep was too nice to me so I slept a little longer…that was until I heard a young girl’s voice loudly whisper “Jeff” and it sounded like she was right next to me. I jolted awake, my door was closed so I jumped out of bed, and there was nobody home. I was home by myself! Looks like the ghost from my house may have followed me out here.

I got ready for the gym but I needed to get gas and stop at the store real quick before heading over. It took longer than expected and I was contemplating skipping the gym. While I was running my errands Laura texted me and told me her friend asked her to be her baby’s godmother! Happy Good News Tuesday to her! She’s very excited and honored. I decided to go to the gym but I knew I was going to be pressed for time. I wanted to go running but my legs were murdered after yesterday’s AMRAPs. I wanted to do biceps & triceps since I haven’t done them in over two weeks. Due to the time constraints I decided I was going to stretch out my legs in the hot tub, just as I was about to leave the locker room, so I checked to see if anybody was in the hot tub, headed back into the locker room and changed into my boardshorts.

I headed to the pool area and almost walked into a big white hexagon shaped dry erase board that said the hot tub was closed until 1pm for cleaning. I apparently looked right past it when checking the occupancy of the hot tub. There were some kids with their grandpa in the kiddie pool, but that was it. I asked the lifeguard if the pool was open, it was, SCORE! The pool is usually crawling with people so I was stoked to get a bunch of laps in. Some crazy haired guy started talking to me. He greeted me with a “howdy” when I finished one of my down & backs and started whining about the “spa” being closed. Needless to say I swam a lap down and never came back hahaha. I went over to the lazy river and ran/walked some laps against the current, that was tough, then I exited the pool by the waterslide rules sign. I’m not too big to ride it! Happy Good News Tuesday to me! I showered and headed out the door, just under an hour until 1230…when Nick & I usually leave for class…so I stopped at Sonic and got a protein packed double hamburger on wheat with a Diet Dr. Pepper….and a corndog hahaha. The burger was BANGING!

When I got home Nick was making lunch but he had a hunch I stopped at Sonic, I’ve been craving it for a few days now and when I heard that our firearms instructor AND 5% body fat PT instructor ate it this weekend, I caved in. I changed into my uniform and headed right back out the door. Kathy told me I could come early and see what I got wrong on my essay test and I wanted to ask her opinion one why I haven’t been hearing back from these jobs. I asked her if she thought it was a good problem or bad problem, she simply advised me to call the hiring agency that all of these applications go through.

Today was another class with one of our core instructors who is notorious for picking on any and everybody for answers. I had a feeling we would be back in the groups we were in the last time we had him and my group left off last time so I figured I’d be in the clear. Wrong. He started with our group and one of our groupmates had to go home for a home repair, so there was less room to hide. Last time we met up this way I was fortunate enough not to have been picked on, this time I jumped right into the lion’s den. He asked me a question and I looked up at the ceiling as if I was looking up there for the answers…he called me out on it and had the class laughing at me. It was fun. Half of the class signed up for a dodge ball tournament a few weeks ago, it was going down tonight. They signed up when I was sick, and honestly I wasn’t risking injury…I’m surprised my back has held up so well this long, but they were asking everybody to come out and cheer…you know I was all about that!

After class I dropped Travis off and headed home, talking to Laura along the way. I walked in and I saw two cardboard boxes stacked on top of each other on the living room table and the top one was addressed to Nick! I examined the box closer and the return address from the Hoops back in Freehold! Mama Hoop taking care of a stranger just like she would us Ward kids! She’s the best! Happy Good News Tuesday to Nick! The other package was for me, naturally. The packages were next to a card looking envelope addressed to me. Laura sent me mail! She wrote out a very sweet card and gave me an iTunes giftcard!!! Wooo Hoooo!!!! The package was stuffed with Mama Cookies, Reese’s Pieces, and Walmart gift card! Happy Good News Tuesday to Me!!! I shared some Mama Cookies with Jane, got changed, and then headed back to the Aquaplex for round 2. I was determined to get a good workout in. Before heading out, the neighbor’s dogs came out to say hello and wish me a good workout so I replied with a side scratch/pet thing.

Yay Packages!

It's catching on!

I think his name is Jasper. He's rarely outside but when he is, he comes over to me, whimpers a little bit, I put my hand to the fence, he licks it then turns to the side so I can scratch him. The End.

Today was the busiest I’ve ever seen the weight room at The Plex which is why I usually wait a few hours to go there after class. I weighed in at the doctor’s office yesterday in snow covered snow boots and several layers, so naturally I was heavier than earlier recorded. Guess what I did as soon as I got into the weight room? Yep...weighed myself. 260! Total weight loss since January 2^nd, 25lbs roughly. That’s what the scale says, that’s not how I feel or how I feel I look so that number means crap to me…even though I have 2 months to reach my ranger program weight goal. Mount Up Bitch!!! I did a hill program on the bike for 10 minutes, stretched my beat up legs, and then did a modified version of the workout our D-Tac instructor gave us…this was the last workout I did before I got sick. 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off…but this time I honored the 10 second break instead of resting longer. Scissor kicks, flutter kicks, bicycles, those crazy pushups from the AMRAPs yesterday, mountain climbers, and then squats. I did 3 rounds then did 10 burpees followed by jumping rope for the entire Lifeless Life song by Ill Nino. Their jumpropes suck so I’ll have to bring my own next time.

I had about an hour to get to the dodge ball tournament so I banged out three sets of biceps, showered, and booked it out of there. You can’t turn left out of the main entrance of The Plex’s parking lot…which I thought was the only entrance. I needed to turn left so this sucks. I found another entrance on the back side of the lot that actually took me directly where I needed to go. I saw a cop speed down the road in front of me and then hit his lights. He was trying to pull over a red pickup truck that appeared to be noncompliant, the cop followed him for a quarter mile or so and the dude just kept on driving. I’ll have to try to see if something big happened on San Francisco St. tomorrow.

The parking lots were jam packed, apparently a lot goes on there at night, so I was late for the start of the first (of 2) team’s game. Our two teams were the Flat Hats (ranger jargon for the famous “ranger hat”) and the Purple Monkeys…which I think came from Nickelodeon’s Legends of the Hidden Temple. The tournament was single elimination; best of three games wins the match. I arrived near the end of the first game of the Purple Monkeys’ first match, only Travis & Nick were left standing at this point…figures, Nick got knocked out as soon as I got to the sideline. I threw off my jacket and belted “Let’s GO Travis!” Half of the gym jumped. The Flat Hats were watching the match and started getting pumped. Travis got knocked out and everybody got deflated. The second game started and I was super loud. Our two teams loved the enthusiasm and everybody joined in. The Monkeys swept the next two games and advanced. The Flat Hats played the rejects from the TKE fraternity, it wasn’t pretty. They experienced the dreaded first round knockout. A cool thing these TKE turds did after the match, they huddled up and gave a 1-2-3 Park Rangers cheer. Excellent sportsmanship even though they were tool bags.

The Purple Monkeys were definitely underdogs but they kept stepping up when they needed to. After each victory I gave some of the players my version of the NFL jumping chest/ hip bump. Owen was impressed with my hops and said “Damn Jeff. You got some hops for a big guy.” Good to know I still got it..a little bit. While the Monkeys were regulating the competition, I introduced my patented empty hand holding the imaginary microwave while I interviewed the Flat Hats. “This is Jeff Ward with NAU PRTP News…” hahaha. The Monkkeys made it to the Semi-finals and I cheered/”coached” them the entire time. When the two teams lined up and were about to run for the balls to start the match, the other team, other coaches, and myself jumped up and down doing that “oooohhhhh” chant that people do at football games prior to a kickoff. I started a “Let’s Go Rangers”, ala New York Rangers hockey, chant. We even attempted a 10 man wave…it didn’t work. We were so wrapped up in the cheering that we started supporting people we didn’t even know. In the semi-final matchup, the Purple Monkeys jumped out to a 1-0 lead but in the following two games, Travis eliminated himself via boundary violation and Nick fell right behind him. They were probably the two strongest Monkeys so it was difficult for the team to persevere without them. At the end of the 3^rd game Jake found himself battling 5 of the TKE turds by himself. He took 1 or 2 out but then they played keep away by not throwing any balls in Jake’s direction, so he couldn’t catch them and bring some teammates back in, and the time ran out. Apparently these ass clowns made it to the championship last year too. It’s never shameful to lose to a team with that kind of experience.

This was an excellent team building exercise. Everybody had a blast. Who would’ve thought a bunch of 20 somethings could have so much fun playing a kids game.