Hell Week Recap

Hey Hey! Found Out I got some new readers up in huurrrrr.  Welcome. This here is my account of my journey from Freehold, NJ to Flagstaff, AZ where I’m attending Northern Arizona University for 1 semester.  I initially came out this way to participate in a Park Ranger Training Program but I picked wilderness first responder & wildland fire fighter certifications, and met some awesome people from all over the country, along the way.  As of today, Thursday, I have 1 month left out here and I can’t wait to get home.  This blog exists as a recommendation from my friends and family back home…I guess they don’t want to hear a bunch of stories when I get home hahaha.  Thanks for reading. Tell your friends. Leave some feedback.  Enjoy.

Hey Now, Hey Now…Spring Break is Oooovvveeerrrrr

Surprise Surprise, “Hell Week” wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be; obviously…or I wouldn’t be writing this right now.  Spring Break officially ended on Saturday, but we were in nice weather Sedona, got some camping in, and shot guns the entire weekend.  This morning, Monday, was my official end to Spring Break…as made evident by the 2 inches of snow already on the ground and much more falling rapidly.  We have PT today and we were all expecting to get our butts kicked after being off for the week. 

The syllabus said we had a 25 minute run outside.  The last time it said we had a 25 minute run scheduled it was raining, so we did a 25 minute AMRAP (As Many Rounds of intense exercises As Possible) instead.  Most of the class hates AMRAPs, I prefer them over distance running.  Lucky them, those AMRAP haters got their way.  We split into groups of 4 and ran outside for 27 minutes in a bloody awful snow storm…and I actually ran most of the time…guess it was a good day.  The 3 slowest guys, myself included, grouped up along with my roomie Nick and ran a good portion of our PEB course a couple of times.  I ran the entire the Thursday before, as I’ve posted, and the area that kicked my butt with the wind…yeah it was much worse today with the snow added to the mix.  The run was done, had very little time to lift, but I managed to match my max bench to this point so that was good….almost where I need it to be to pass the PEB.

Transition between PT & class sucked as usual. Class was alright. It was the last day one of our instructors, our director’s husband, would be teaching us.  He got a promotion at his park and it was time for him to bounce.  He’s a great dude.  I finally handed in my lengthy ass accident report and we covered handling domestic disputes.  Nick, John, Arkansas, & I stayed after class to finish the bulk of our group project and then it was time for home. It was a boring night. I put the finishing touches on our PowerPoint presentation, looked over my world famous study guide…for 5 minutes…and hit the sack.

Grazing Hell

We got quite the triple whammy today; a test on accident investigations in the morning, group presentation, and then some classroom time learning about special needs populations.  I hardly studied for the test…88% = WINNING!  Our presentation was the best…and that’s not just because I’m biased…ok maybe it is.  Most groups broke their presentation into pieces and presented them almost in chapters.  Each person took a chapter and they went in order.  Our group was dynamic…just when you thought you weren’t going to hear from somebody in my group, they jumped back into the mix with more information.  It was awesome that we overloaded the class with swag, handouts, & visual aids.  At the end of the presentation, we got the most questions from the class…clearly because we had the most interesting presentation…duh. 

My favorite part was when I talked about our encounter with the grazing cattle.  When we were driving down the 23 mile long entrance road to the ranger station at Lake Mead, we saw two baby calves next to the road, just chilling, up until a car coming from the other direction stopped next to them and scared them away.  As an animal lover from NJ, I would’ve greatly appreciated getting up to and seeing one of these cows “in the wild” instead of just on somebody’s farm.  After some questioning of our ranger host, I found out that the part of the land that we saw the cattle was Bureau of Land Management (BLM) land.  On BLM land, these cattle are allowed to graze…on National Park Service land they are not.  A fence was built to keep the cattle out but not all cattle were removed from NPS land.  When I told this story during our presentation I said that the cows were still in there “Grazing Hell” (get it? Like raising hell!)  The joke wasn’t a total home run but I got some laughs hahaha.

Wild Cattle

The rest of class was interesting.  We talked about “special needs” people which include people under the influence of alcohol and I got to very very briefly talk about some of my experiences from working security.  There’s one other “bouncer” in the class and ironically we get referred too whenever a “big” guy is mentioned in a story.  After class Nick, John, & I decided we were going to celebrate with some pizza but first we had to stop & pick up John’s new toy…his Beretta. It was the first time I’d ever seen a gun purchased, the man behind the counter wondered why I wasn’t more involved with the whole thing.  Whatever, they had some fun toys in there.  If I didn’t live in a state that was so gun gay and I could actually do something with one besides store at a gun range and shoot it from time to time…maybe I would’ve been more excited.

Pizza was awesome, ate too much of it.  Once again it was cool what TV looked like.  I’m doing more of that whole seeing people out in public that I see in school thing; this group of people that share the gym with us at PT were at the pizza place.  When I got home I was pumped that one of my packages from Amazon came; “Verbal Judo” and a law enforcement field guide.  Most of our instructors reference this book, Verbal Judo. It apparently shows you all these ways to use your words as the lowest level of enforcement to gain compliance…or something.  The other book is a quick reference type thing that touches on everything a law enforcement officer deals with. 

I cranked out this silly little background check, that my classmates have been saying has been taking them weeks to do, in just over 2 hours…minus some minor fine tuning.  The best part of that background check is that I was able to get back in touch with some of my old college roomies.  One of them, is expecting a baby!!!  WOO HOOOO!!!!

Good News Tuesday – We graduate a month from today.  I might not be getting a NPS job after this is all said and done but I’m looking forward to getting home and figuring out where I’ll be working next.

Bad News Tuesday – The referral letters have flat out stopped lately but I woke up this morning and had an e-mail saying I was “not referred” to the Fire Island job in New York.  Totally sucks because it’s the best paying seasonal job out there, it’s close to home, it’s a beach park, and they have housing available.  I’m over letting these denials get me down…see above in the “Good News Tuesday” section.

What’s Wrong With Me (now) Wednesday?

So I slept like crap.  I was asleep pretty early (for me), 10:30, but I woke up constantly from 5:30 on...almost on the hour.  When it was time to finally wake up, I felt awful and didn’t want to get out of bed.  A buddy of mine gave me a little tip for running long distances, taking aspirin. I have a good feeling I took too many and on an empty stomach; not a good mix when heading into an intense day of PT.  We had jump training, lifting, and a mile run.  We reversed our usual routine and lifted first. I felt like poop and now my knee was being a bitch..it even buckled when I was doing some lunges.  What the crap.

We paired up with our lifting partners and had to do 100 box jumps onto those step aerobics step things, then 50 frog jumps (jump as high as you can, bringing your knees to your chest), and finally 2 legged frog leaps across the tennis courts.  I was super gassed after every exercise, but I was the 1^st one done with the frog leaps J.  We immediately ran the mile after that…completely dreadful.  I walked WAAAYYYYY too much…even though it was the crazy hilly course. I hardly made it a few steps and had to walk.  I know I’m not THAT out of shape so I gotta figure something out.

Transition time was a little delayed considering Jane’s daughter Mandi stopped by, not expecting us to come home.  Today was class picture day so I shined my boots while Nick showered.  I then realized that I needed to go grocery shopping BIG time; I had nothing quick and easy to make and I couldn’t even make oatmeal because all of the dishes were dirty due to the lack of dish soap.  Needless to say, a grocery store trip was in my near future. 

Class was cool today!  We started learning about DUI and our 2 instructors were the Sheriff’s officers that helped out on our scenario day.  These dudes are cool, had a blast with them on scenario day so I was pumped to learn from them today.  They spent most of the class talking about traffic stops, our first exposure to it, and then they brought us outside and gave us a brief overview of how to conduct a DUI stop from beginning to end.  We wrapped up class a half hour early so we could parade around campus to find some prime spots for our class picture.  It was the last time Kathy & her dog Toby would be in a NAU PRTP class picture L.  We should see what they look like on Friday.

Owen in Trouble

FST

My new handcuff key came in the mail today, no more dinky little handcuff key for me, this will help me when it comes to final scenarios.  I chilled for a little bit and made a grocery list while catching up on my Family Guy then headed out to Safeway.  In the midst of my grocery shopping, I heard a song that instantly made me miss home, Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing.”  The title alone makes for a pretty good homesick anthem and the lyrics further support that cause, but I think the reason it got to me so much at this particular point is that it reminded me of the first time I hung out with Laura.  The first night we actually hung out we went to the Trocadero in Philly to see Lost Prophets and I think Brand New and then went directly to the Borgata, where we first met, afterwards.  On our way back to her house, this song came on and we both started singing it which I thought was weird because 1.) it showed an immediate comfort level and 2.) Laura doesn’t usually sing.

I made sure to spend at least $50 so I got the gas discount at Safeway’s gas station, filled up my Matrix, and headed home.  Brought the groceries in, started boiling some water, and got cracking on our pursuit driving pre-test.  I ate dinner and finished up the test in just under 3 hours…another project that my classmates have been griping that it’s been taking them days to complete.  I wonder if I’m doing something wrong….nah I’m Jeff Ward…that doesn’t happen.  I finished up that bad boy while watching Napoleon Dynamite.  That movie cracks me up.

OC Sucks

Oh man I’m so not looking forward to today.  I’ve been dreading any day that involves OC spray ever since I got dosed with it 2 years ago at the Monmouth County Park System’s ranger academy. Since several people keep asking me, OC (Oleoresin Capsicum) is a type of pepper spray.  It’s made from Cayenne pepper & it stings like the Dickins.  It’s initially designed to take away the bad guy’s sight but it also affects their ability to breathe, it severely irritates the skin and briefly disorients you so you look like you’re drunk off your butt. Anybody that gets involved in law enforcement has to go through this “dosing exercise” so they are aware of the effects if they ever are exposed to it when dealing with a bad guy in the field.  After my first OC dosing, I noted two things at the end of that day: 1.) I wouldn’t wish that pain on anybody, not even my worst enemy & 2.) I’d rather be shot than to do that again.  As I’d find out later today, my classmates felt the same way after their first exposure to the pepper spray. 

I had another crappy night’s sleep so I finally woke up & showered around 8:30 and then actually had a good breakfast…I love pancakes!  It was a good thing Laura had a half day at work today because if she didn’t call me when she did then today would’ve been the 7^th day since I’ve been here that we didn’t talk!!!! That’s no good in my book.  After touching base with her I applied to two more jobs, one at the Golden Gate Bridge and another in South Carolina.  This stupid ass job website keeps screwing things up and now it won’t even attach my resume to my applications.  Somebody from HR called me looking for my resume immediately after I applied, good thing they did but we all know at this point that it won’t matter. 

I got changed into my “throw away” clothes, packed a change of clothes, some towels, my baby shampoo (no more tears duh), and then Nick & I were on our way.  It was nice being early for a change.  Nick got to play some YouTube OC spray videos.  The funny firearm instructor that said I was shooting too well so he shot a headshot on my target “just to screw” with me was our OC instructor.  We had a 2 hour class, a mini test, and then it was time for the fun stuff….the dosing exercise.

Had buckets full of Dawn dish soap, a metal trough looking thing of regular cold fresh hose water, and a misting hose all set up…much different from the locker room showers back at MCPS that the regular police officers had set on hot while we were trying to cool our faces off.  We had to partner up and we had the option of having our partner spraying us or the instructor.  We let most of those who drove go first…if they wanted to.  When all of the buckets were occupied, we held up.  Other than that it was a constant stream of people getting punched by pepper.  I was nervous about today for the longest time, even leading up to going outside to get it on…but that all went away as soon as the first person got sprayed.

Yesterday, when we were getting briefed on the day’s events, Turiya made it known that she was going first…it’s okay she’s a GS-07.  The entire class stood away from her but around her as our instructor gave us one final rundown of what to do & expect then he sprayed her.  The wind carried some of it in our direction and I got a bit in my mouth…nothing crazy…but it was enough to make us run for cover haha. The big difference in how we got sprayed here versus MCPS, at MCPS we kept our eyes open & took the direct hit, here our eyes were closed for the hit then opened.  At MCPS we had to then fake arrest somebody.  Here we just had to call out the number of fingers being held up….that was good enough for all of us.  One by one my class mates were getting lit up.  Some got it worse than others.  Some took it worse than others.  Some of them reminded me of me my first time.  Some of them had looked like they needed straight jackets. Just about everybody let the swear words fly…surprisingly I don’t think I did…but it’s a good thing we weren’t getting demerits for them today because half the class would’ve been sent home.  My nerves were a distant memory as I was jumping all over the place helping some of the spotters with their partners…and then it was my turn.

When I stepped in front of the instructor my nerves crept their way back into my system.  “Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and nod when you’re ready. After you get sprayed, open your eyes and tell me how many fingers I’m holding up.”  I added my own instruction there too…keep your mouth shut.  The last time I got hit with this crap it literally felt like I got punched in the face so I jerked my head back…open mouth and everything.  The mist went in my throat and the feeling made cleoroseptic (sp?) spray feel like mouthwash.  I couldn’t breathe and that was mostly my problem in recovering.  I nodded.  It felt like a hose blasted me in the face.  I wasn’t going to be that little wimpy guy.  As soon I opened my eyes and saw the 2 fingers up, I called em out and my partner, Pat from PA, handed me a paper towel.  “What did I ever do to you Shawn?” I questioned the instructor…got some laughs. Pat started walking me to the buckets and by the 4^th step I felt drunk as a skunk and dizzy as hell.  Poor pat is much smaller than me..perhaps I should say poor me because if I fall down there was no way he was catching me.  At least there no giant glass windows around to be walked into like last time I went through this. 

Before...

This hurts me just looking at it

I was a little perturbed because somebody was on the bucket I brought and I didn’t want to get any sicker or spread my sickness to anybody by using a community bucket, plus my bucket at the secret baby shampoo in it. I honestly didn’t care at that point though, I couldn’t reopen my eyes after spotting the fingers and when I did that if felt like a dam erupted and pepper crap came rushing into my eyeballs.  Pat got me to a bucket but I couldn’t breathe enough to stick my face in the water yet.  They told us to open our eyes in the soapy water…nearly impossible.  It obviously hard to breathe as it was and Pat was being a good spotter, following orders; he tried blotting me with paper towels when I came out of the water as expected.  Unfortunately he was closing the little airway I had, thus making it even harder to breathe.  He was persistent. Even though I was moving my head away from him like I did to my mom when she used to try to use her fork to catch the spaghetti that was dangling from my mouth, he was determined to clean me up.  I had to subtly yell STOP and instantly felt bad…but I couldn’t breathe hahaha.  As soon as I got to the fresh water trough, I could open my eyes and stay under water all day. My eyes were feeling better; I had Kathy hose me down with the misting hose and I tried walking it out.  The breeze/ wind was clutch today, just as much as the 44 degree temps.  Perfect day to set your face on fire and drench it to put it out.  

At one point I wanted to return to the trough.  When I jammed my face in I could hear Kathy telling Pat to essentially cut me off from using the water and to dry off.  I was fine with that but at one point I spit into the trough and could vaguely see somebody about to smash their face right into it.  I forced myself to open my eyes, held them up, cupped the spit and grabbed it out of the trough.  Pretty funny I thought…not that I spit but that I caught it like that.  Kathy was on her game. Getting me away from the water was probably the best thing I could’ve done.  Last time I went through this I couldn’t get myself to leave the shower.  Pat walked me up…well I sort of stumbled up…this hill where everybody was catching the wind and hanging in the shade.  Even though I couldn’t open my eyes for more than a second, I was checking on everybody I passed.  On my way up the hill I belt out “I Love OC Spray!” When I got to the top of the hill and leaned against a tree I followed that up with an “UNSTOPPABLE”! With the exception of Travis…who hadn’t been sprayed yet…anybody was pleased with my motivation…at least not at first.  They told me they appreciated it later.  All of this worrying and I was good to go in about 15-20 minutes.  It took me an hour and 15 minutes to be able to see again the last time I went through this.

This is supposed to help

Not looking good

...after

I started helping whoever I could and I somehow latched on with my Canadian mate.  This guy was like the Incredible Hulk or the Ultimate Warrior or something.  He had the obvious signs of frustration, just wanting to feel normal again, but whoever started off as his partner left a lot of the spray on his face and he was very good at keeping me away from his face to try to get it off.  Then I had to chase him all over the place to make sure he was okay.  At one point he reached out his hand and pounded one of the maybe 100 spectators we had throughout the afternoon.  When he told me he was all good I went to my gym bag to try to change my shirts.  I was mid costume change when I hear someone painfully yelling “JEFF!  JEFF!”  I looked up and saw my Canadian mate looking around like a toddler who lost sight of their parent in a busy mall.  I ran over to him in just my wife beater to see what was up; he needed an escort up to the top of “cool hill”.  I obliged but not before grabbing a sweatshirt n holding it like a blanket in front of us. 

Once up the hill I bounced around checking on anybody & everybody, getting them whatever they needed.  I felt like a triage nurse in a military camp in some random war movies I’ve seen in the past.  Everybody handled it differently.  Some recovered on the quicker side like I did; others were hurting for a long time…like I did in the past. Just about everybody showed a different side of themselves today.  Everybody’s good at cracking jokes and making light of situations but today was different.  Sure there was lots of joking going around but many of the spotters had to put on their serious faces for a change. I’ve basically been a loud mouth comedian songbird from Jersey just about everywhere but in the classroom but I was very calm and reassuring when the time came to be.  Some of the dudes that looked like they needed straight jackets were talked down just by a few soothing words of their spotters.  Fearing potential hypothermia on some of the longer to recover people, multiple people threw extra layers on them and huddled closely around them.  It was awesome to see everybody picking each other up like that.

Class Picture - I think Kathy got a better one

When most of us seemed like we were good to go, we took a couple of class pictures and were released.  I loved seeing that more than half of us stayed back to keep an eye on those needing the overtime to recover.  Those that still needed help were eventually driven home.  Nick & I stopped at Walmart to get some more Dawn soap for the shower.  We came home and I got a package from Brian & Elena…WOO HOOO!!!  Made some Rice-A-Roni & shrimp for dinner, put the day’s on FB, finalized all of the assignments that are due tomorrow, did some laundry, chased Fiona around out back, and watched Crank 2!  I also heard from some peeps I haven’t spoken to in awhile.  My man G$ is recovering from surgery so I checked in on him and my girl Jackie from back in the day reached out to check in on me! J~BuCK Holla!!! J

I’ll be arriving home 1 month from today! One more day then our last full weekend off.  Arkansas’ landlady is throwing the rangers a party. I’m not positive what I’m doing on Saturday but hopefully it involves getting my engine light issue resolved and then at some point on Sunday I have to travel down to Phoenix.  We start our driving training on Monday and the program picked up hotel rooms for us in Phoenix…with a pool & a hot tub!  Apparently it’s a dive hotel but for our driving time on Monday & Tuesday…84 & 87 degrees, respectively!  I might have to go get a pair of shorts!

Good Night ya’ll.

MOUNT UP!!!